


These Things Don't Just Happen Overnight

by PitViperOfDoom



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya is confused, Centaurs, Gen, Identity Reveal, Marinette and Adrien are nerds, but off-screen sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6385852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitViperOfDoom/pseuds/PitViperOfDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrien and Marinette have a meaningful conversation. Alya is floundering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Things Don't Just Happen Overnight

“Yes!” Marinette blurted. “Um, I-I did see the single. That Jagged Stone released.” She paused, lips pressed together. “And I listened to it. I liked it a lot.”

“Me too!” Adrien grinned. “Think he'll ever ask you to design a cover again?”

“I don't know if he'll ask me. To design a cover again,” Marinette mumbled. “I-I hope so. It was really fun.”

Alya was proud. She was managing complete sentences, strung together with perfect grammar, even if she split them into phrases to get them out. But that was all right. Valid strategy. Technically, so was restating Adrien's questions in her answer. Progress was important.

“He should, you're really tal-” Unfortunately, before Adrien could finish a sentence that would most likely have Marinette melting into a flustered puddle on the school's front steps, an akuma decided to rear its head. Noisy one this time. Something about track and field. Alya readied her camera and trotted back to a safe distance, out of range of this week's supervillain's flying shotputs. She rolled her eyes as both her friends beat a hasty retreat.

“Chickens,” she muttered, and stood by to wait for Ladybug and Chat Noir to show up. And show up they did.

Alya was no superhero, nor was she any kind of physical fighter. Still, after a few months of devotedly monitoring akuma battles, this one looked like a tough one even by their standards. Shotputs and discuses flew and landed like cannonballs. Alya was forced to change her hiding place several times when the supervillain's attacks managed to smash each one to pieces.

By the time the fight was over, so was the school day. Both heroes looked exhausted as Ladybug's wave of magic fixed everything that was broken; Chat Noir was swaying as if he was about to fall over. Alya had to wonder – how much could that last burst of power fix? The minor scratches she had sustained were gone, so it must have some healing power. Clearly, though, it didn't do much for physical exhaustion.

She ran forward, full of questions, and got close just in time to hear the frantic beeping from their jewelry. Frustrated, she fought the urge to stamp her foot when they left. Ladybug was supporting Chat Noir pretty heavily, swinging them up and over the nearest roof and out of sight.

With a sigh, Alya turned back toward the school building. Might as well wait for Marinette to come back. She might like to see some of the footage Alya had captured – it _had_ been a pretty awesome fight.

She was at the top of the steps when a distant high-pitched scream reached her ears. Alya blinked and glanced back, but there were no additional screams nor an accompanying dust cloud to give away the arrival of another akuma. Maybe she'd imagined it.

Marinette never showed, nor did she answer any of Alya's texts for the rest of the day.

* * *

Alya had an inkling that today would not be a normal day when she walked up the steps and Marinette was nowhere to be found.

This wouldn't be such an issue, usually. Marinette ran late loads of times; it was no big deal. But after all the excitement of the previous day, Alya was reasonably sure that Marinette had either overslept like whoa, or wasn't coming in at all.

Rolling her eyes, Alya sent a quick text message to her.

_-wake up, sleepyhead :P you're gonna be late_

A moment later, Marinette sent a reply.

_-morning alya! don't worry, i'm already here! i got here a little early._

Marinette? _Early?_ Now _that_ was definitely weird. Technically Alya was also early. If Marinette had made it to class before her, then she might as well keep an eye on the sky to watch for flying pigs. Curious, Alya pocketed her phone and went inside.

As she drew closer to the classroom, she picked up the sounds of voices. And the closer she got, the more she realized how familiar both of those voices were. Finally she stepped inside, and her mouth dropped open.

“Look, I just don't see why it's such a big deal,” Adrien was saying. He was lounging in his seat – slouching, even. “It's part horse, so it probably works like a horse. Horse necks are pretty long, and they're pretty flexible, so I don't see why the human spine can't be built the same way.”

“A human torso is a little more complicated than a neck, Adrien!” Marinette argued. She was sitting – _sitting!_ – on Adrien's desk, pretty as you please, feet swinging. Her phone was in her hand, and she tapped vehemently at the screen before waving it at him. “See? A horse neck is made of one kind of bone. Do you know how many kinds of vertebrae are in a human torso?”

“No, Marinette, I don't make a habit of studying horse anatomy.”

“That sounds sooo dirty,” Nino muttered. Both of the others ignored him.

“Three,” Marinette went on. “Three kinds! The human part is not a glorified neck. It is not.”

“We're not even talking about what kind of bones it's made of,” Adrien broke in. “The issue is the shape. All I'm saying is, the human part would be attached to the horse part in the same way a regular horse's neck would be.”

“Have you seen how people usually draw centaurs?” Marinette demanded. “I'm telling you, it's a right angle! Horse necks aren't attached in right angles, that would be _horrifying_.”

Alya blinked. “What.”

Marinette glanced at her. “Alya, back me up on this. Centaur spines make absolutely no sense, right?”

“The hell.”

Floundering, Alya looked to Nino for help. But instead of offering her an explanation, or at least having the decency to share in her utter confusion, the little traitor only encouraged them.

“If you think the spines are weird, how about this?” he broke in. “How does the stomach work.”

Marinette groaned; Adrien tapped his chin. “I'm thinking an extra long esophagus,” he said.

“No way.” Marinette shook her head until her pigtails swung. “It's gotta have two stomachs.”  
“Two stomachs?” Adrien echoed, incredulous. “Wouldn't one stomach and a long esophagus be simpler?”

“What, are you going to do that to all the organs?” Marinette challenged. “Extra long windpipe, too? Is the human part just filled with tubes, then?”

“Maybe!”

Marinette threw her hands in the air as if in despair, almost losing her phone in the process. “My God, how long does it take the poor thing to take a breath?” She shook her head again. “No. No way. Two stomachs makes more sense.”

Adrien wrinkled his nose. “Next you'll be saying it's got two hearts.”

“What, like that's weird?” Marinette crossed her arms stubbornly. “Time Lords have two hearts and nobody throws a fit about that!”

“Are you trying to argue that centaurs are somehow related to Time Lords?”

“Don't change the subject,” she said with a glare.

“You're the one who brought up Time Lords!” Adrien pointed out. “I don't even understand why you're using Time Lords to make an argument about biology. Time Lords aren't real!”

“Neither are centaurs!”

“What about an octopus?” Nino chipped in. “An octopus has _three_ hearts. They're real.”

“ _Thank_ you.” Marinette smiled smugly. “And a cow has four stomachs, so a centaur can have two without it being a total abomination against nature. A human stomach and a horse stomach.”

“That's not how a cow's multiple stomachs work,” Adrien groused.

“Are we really going to nitpick every minor detail about how imaginary man-horse monsters digest their food?” Marinette asked. “We're talking about an animal that is literally a torso on top of another torso. I don't think we can afford to nitpick.”

Alya managed to inch her way around the desk until she was crouched by Nino, staring at Marinette and Adrien as if she were peeking out of a bomb shelter. “I think I walked through a wormhole and ended up in a different universe.”

Nino sighed and patted her on the shoulder. “At least we're lost together, then.”

“Nino, I am afraid.”

“We all are, Alya. We all are.”

* * *

Several weeks later, a bright, up-and-coming jockey lost a very important race, and Hawk Moth was quick to pounce. The jockey's prized steed was unfortunate enough to get caught up in the subsequent akumatization, which fused horse and rider together. The result was frightening enough at face value, even without the somewhat disturbing implications of what the poor creature was going through.

Ladybug and Chat Noir stood together and silently gaped, as if they simply needed a moment to sit and appreciate the sight. That was fine by Alya – they were standing so close that she could have reached over and tapped Chat Noir's shoulder.

“I AM SECRETERRORAT!” the akuma roared, thundering through the streets of Paris on four powerful hooves. “NOW I AM BOTH RACEHORSE _AND_ RIDER! VICTORY WILL BE MINE!”

“Now there's something you don't see every day,” Alya remarked from behind her phone.

Nino hummed a little and sang under his breath. “ _My Little Pony, I used to wonder what friendship could be-_ ” Alya socked him in the arm.

Just a few feet away, Ladybug nudged Chat Noir in the ribs. “See that? Right angle. What'd I tell you?”

“I stand corrected, My Lady,” Chat Noir said dryly. “Shall we ask him how many stomachs he has?”

“You know what? Good idea. You go ahead. Let me know how that turns out for you.”

As they swung away to do battle, Alya couldn't help but think that their odd little exchange was important somehow. ...Familiar, perhaps?

Oh, well. Maybe it would come to her later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I don't know either.


End file.
